So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
