It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
