Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize