honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
