this beer tastes like vomit already
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
