Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
