so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
