I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
