Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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