your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want her autograph on my taint
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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