Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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