im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
