i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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