where does the pee come out of this thing
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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