why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
