he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
false alarm. still invincible.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
