Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
