i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
