Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
