im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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