Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
In America we eat man semen.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
