I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
