Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
