He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
