all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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