isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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