Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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