everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
