some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm always down for nudity.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
