i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
