Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
