this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
