I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
