Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
