I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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