dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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