shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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