Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
