Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
