dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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