OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
