If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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