It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
