just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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