Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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