kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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