I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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