My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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