i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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