So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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