It's Friday. Sex?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
