your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
