Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize