I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
