I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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