question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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