k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize