he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
