Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
