If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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