question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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