ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
