sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize