saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
