he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
