Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
